There was always that fear that the past would come knocking on my door and refuse to leave. Living in such a small town made it easy to run into each other, but I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I only imagined that seeing him again would send me into a time that I tried so hard to steer clear of. Every time I hopped into my car, he was near. Each corner I turned was an instant reminder that he’d always be watching. When he said he wanted no one else to have me, he meant it.
But this new guy… what a charm. I had only met him the one time he stopped by my work place. I didn’t have time to doubt his want in getting to know me. When I saved my number into his contact list, he texted me right away. We played a series of twenty questions, but it went on to be a lot more than that. He made sure I was comfortable with the pace of our relationship. While he knew that I had a burden weighing me down, trying to stop me in my tracks, he made me aware that what we had was like no other. I didn’t have any true reason to believe that yet another relationship would go sour. Each time I pulled back a little, he reeled me all the way in. When he displayed the bait, I couldn’t help but bite again. I was in for something amazing.
Texts were sent back and forth within seconds of one another. His name instantly deserved a heart next to it. Each time my phone came to life I knew my world would be brightened. But there was always that one time that my ex’s name made its big debut. I had never read a longer apology in my life. Not for one second did I imagine myself back with him, but he always managed to question my mental health knowing I no longer wanted him around. The unsureness that settled within my body was agitating. I wasn’t convinced that I was capable of making my own decisions. But if I came across as someone who couldn’t handle herself, I was sure that this new guy would withdraw from the bond we had just started to build. My ex would then get what he wanted… just like he always had.
I didn’t want him to get in the way of what I was trying to pursue with my new protector. He really did want to shield me from all the damaging memories that were packed into my brain. He made it crystal clear that I would never be abused again, not on his watch or ever. To my own surprise, I trusted him. I was far from suspicion… I knew that everything he said came straight from his heart into words. I watched each letter fall from his lips to rest easy into the palm of my hands. This was a huge turn around from the catastrophe previously at large.
The first night we decided to meet with one another had my heart skipping beats. I had learned so much about him yet couldn’t help but feel nervous. I was going to be alone with someone who wanted nothing more than for me to be happy. This was new to me. I had to soak it all in because this time… I was meant to be here.
And there I stayed in his arms, all night long. Moments like this were meant to last forever.
Catch me, I’m falling.