Limit

I was in and out of consciousness, but the fear that enclosed my body was strikingly loud. The voice inside my head was spitting words directly toward the attention it needed. Of course I was listening… it was in my nature to agree with whatever I was being told. I kept my eyes closed and prayed that regardless of what my mind was trying to convince me of, that my baby was still safe inside my belly. I hadn’t felt her move since collapsing, but I couldn’t find the might I needed to get up. Without that strength, I couldn’t play with the different techniques I knew to help her wiggle around. I heard voices passing the door that held together the walls around me. My name was repeatedly called out, more so because they needed help around the building. All it took was one more breathe… one more sigh of hopelessness.

And finally, the creaks of the door filled the room with vibration. An ear-splitting scream called for immediate assistance. My supervisor gently placed her hand on my belly and told me that everything was going to be okay. I was finally able to keep my eyes opened long enough to be aware of my surroundings. Tender hands flipped me over to my back and worried that if I tried to move on my own, I wouldn’t be stable enough to hold in position. I was half way through my pregnancy, but no where near a safe delivery. My baby had to be okay, that was the only outcome to this crazy dream… one that I stressed to be a dream, anyway.

I lifted myself, with guidance, onto the stretcher. My apron was still hugging my waist, my pens dangling from the pockets. As I was wheeled out of the building, the looks on my students faces presented nothing but concern. All I could do was share a smile through the glass and just hope… I hoped they could feel my positivity through the energy of my grin, just as I always contributed during our lessons. My boyfriend escorted the front of the bed through the doors that lead to sunshine. He quickly wiped his tears and reassured me that we’d meet again at the hospital. The ambulance lights remained to be seen, and we were on our way.

The tiny window shed light onto the end of my bed. I was able to see my boyfriends work truck following behind, almost racing to stay within reach. The speed limit seemed to have gone below zero, as it slowed down time and allowed my anxiety to outstretch it’s limit. The ambulance was shaky and continued to drive off the side of the road. I could feel the urgency from where the driver was sitting, to the gurney that I so easily filled. The man sitting beside me assured that we would pull up to the hospital in no time. All of my vitals were clear, and it was now just a question as to why I blacked out in the first place.

The traffic was far behind us now as my bed was rolled into a private area. The wires made a trail to the discolored floor, and the machines made noises you could hear down the hallway. I usually didn’t watch the nurses take my blood, but I couldn’t unsee the brightness fill up the the tubes, nicely organized on the metal pan. My boyfriend made his appearance and locked his fingers with mine. I couldn’t imagine my love for him to grow any deeper, but as he whispered to my babygirl… our babygirl, he instantly proved that my heart could hold even more affection.

Test after test was monitored in the lab, awaiting results that would hopefully send us home with a piece of mind. There was one last machine that needed to be hooked up, one that I always looked forward to. The straps were tightly pulled around my widened waist, and the cold gel once again found its way to my growing bump. I squeezed my boyfriends hand with a slight doubt, one that I for sure knew would ruin my perfect dream once again. The nurse directed the wand to where she thought the baby would be…

.

.

.

.

.

“You hear that lovely sound? That’s your babygirl, going strong.”

And all of my doubts, one by one, were washed away.

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68 thoughts on “Limit”

  1. Wow this is great writing! And HOW SCARY, but I’m so thankful the baby ended up being okay. I absolutely love your positivity throughout this terrifying situation. What a great mindset! ❤

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  2. You are such an incredible writer, it hasn’t been long i discovered your blog but am already so much in love with your post. wow!

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  3. Captivating. This narrative carried me along the entire time. You sound like a tough lady. I’ll bet babygirl is going to be tough too!

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  4. I’ve been waiting so patiently for your next post!! This makes me so happy. It reminds me of the time I collapsed at work before I knew I was pregnant. My co-worker saying that it had happened several times to his girlfriend when she was pregnant!
    Honestly though, you need to write a book!

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    1. You are so sweet! I need to come up with a better schedule to keep my followers happy. I’m still struggling trying to manage to babes under two. But I love to write! Thanks so much. It was a scary time but luckily the only time!

      Like

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