One Last Push

Being that it had only been a couple hours since returning from the hospital, I was trying not to make a fool out of myself in such short time. The contractions were ranging anywhere from five to ten minutes, still not close enough to make the next move. My bags were barely packed and I was indecisive on which outfit I wanted my daughter to wear first. With each uproar of pain, I became less interested in the pile of newborn clothes… and more concentrated on making it through the next interval. The discomfort within my belly was only building up my nerves, for I knew I’d be meeting someone special very soon. It was just a matter of pushing her out that signaled my panic mode to refresh itself. I had refused to give it even the slightest thought within the last few weeks, but there was no turning back from here… my body was beautifully progressing and proving to be stronger than I had ever thought.

I couldn’t decide which position helped ease the pain as it spiraled through my belly and beyond. Within seconds I went from standing, to hunched over, and then lying on my bedroom floor. I started to feel like my body was failing me. I pictured myself handling the contractions gracefully… breathing in and out as if I had practiced the technique hundreds of times before. Instead, I was nearly in tears and speaking a language that I wasn’t even sure was real. The rest time was becoming shorter so I made the bold decision to give my doctor another call. “As soon as they are three minutes apart, make your way over to Labor and Delivery.” Time was winding down… not much longer to go.

When realizing that I was going to be away for a few days, I jumped in the shower in hopes that I would find a release. The warm beads bounced off of my round belly, and I was soon in search for something to grip while another wave came through. My nails were digging into my forehead as I decided it would be best to sit on the shower floor. I called out for my boyfriend and told him to start the car… the contractions gave me an unsettled feeling and I was sure we had no more time to play with. I slid into the clothes I had laid out on the bed and glimpsed at a room that was undergoing a unique transition. It would soon be filled with an abundance of love and newborn cries… something I hadn’t imagined to hear for years to come.

I was almost immediately greeted by the same doctor I had seen earlier, as we made our way through the hospital doors. “I told you not to be back so soon. It’s not baby time yet.” I wasn’t going to question my knowledge now. I knew that I had done most of my laboring at home and the rest was in my doctors hands. His gloves intimately fit around his fingers and another exam was conducted. “Admit her. She’s 5cm.” Apologizes were shared around the room for doubting my reason in returning as a patient. My boyfriend and I could hardly contain our excitement as calls were made and preparations were following through. The gown I wore was now meant to be mine for my entire stay, and I would soon welcome our babygirl.

I could barely grasp the entire concept of birthing a child… and I was about to do just that. The epidural had arrived just in time of needing a breathe of fresh air. I was nauseous from not eating, but throwing up in front of tons of nurses was the least of my worries. My body was advancing quicker than anyone had anticipated. With each exam, I had dilated even more and it was suggested to start my practice pushes. Tears and sweat rolled down my puffy cheeks because I knew I was about to be a mom… for the first time ever. I had never been so close to contentment, and this time it was delivered directly to me with no return address. Here goes nothing….

One push, breathe.

Another push, hold it longer, breathe.

One last long push…

I let out a scream that I didn’t think I had in me, with the energy I lacked over the last few weeks. Our baby girls first cries echoed the room and was welcomed into the heated light. The moment my eyes met hers was a getaway to a life I’ve been desperately dreaming of. Every single one of my worries were locked away along with the key. I was a mother, a mother to a gorgeous baby girl…








My Alina-Grace.


56 thoughts on “One Last Push”

  1. Happy to read her birth went so smoothly. Great name! When my daughter was born, we had a slight complication at the end, and the stress kinda stole that first exhilarating moment from me.


  2. I will always be in awe of women who do this!! And your prose so beautifully describes it that I felt as if I was experiencing it with you.. Congrats on the lady that you brought to this world!!


  3. This brought tears to my eyes! I still remember the day I gave birth, and my experience was fairly similar to yours. Just hearing those little cries makes EVERYTHING worth it. Congrats mama, and beautiful name for your baby girl!


  4. It’s always good to hear other people’s birth stories because it gives me a idea of what to expect. So thank you for sharing! I also love the name and congratulations! 🙂


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